In my last post we discussed why hurt people tend to hurt people. Troy had a great comment and I thought we should start there (view here). Everyone has a wound and if we are not aware of it or refuse to deal with it WE WILL wound those around us. Let’s start with this passage:

“And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying, ‘Friend, let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye. Luke 6:41-42

I have discovered in my life that too often I wound those in my life who I love the most i.e., family, friends and co-workers.

What do you do with your wounds? Let me talk about what I often do (too often)…

  • I deny them and say “no big deal”
  • I wound back (my favorite)
  • I get angry
  • I act hurt (this is embarrassing to admit)
  • I gossip

Here is the problem- every one of those responses doesn’t deal with the root- an will only help to infect the wound. And when I do not deal with the root I am in denial and need some honesty. One of the best ways that I have discovered to deal with my wounds is:

Unload honestly to God

Ask a friend for perspective

It is difficult to find friends who will tell you the truth when you hurt- but you better mine (like digging for gold) for them. Their honesty (another wound) will help the healing process if I listen. I have had friends wound me in helpful ways. They have told me

  • I was too hard on my son
  • I was harsh with my wife
  • I am using the truth as a hammer and not a ladder
  • I was arrogant

All of that hurts but listen to this verse:

An open rebuke is better than hidden love! Wounds from a sincere friend
are better than many kisses from an enemy. Proverbs 27:5-6

This doesn’t mean if you are a friend it’s time to get in the correction business. It does mean that you and I must mine out feedback. If we are to be a wounded healer- we have to first deal with our wounds…

There is much more to this idea… What do you do with a wound?

Please post your thoughts.