When Sandy and I were first married we wanted kids! So after two years of life on our own we got pregnant (when I say we-I mean she). 17 months after our son was born (Hal4) we had a daughter (Ashley) and the complexity of marriage and parenting grew exponentially. You see, we had both grown up under different parenting styles and we had to come up with our own. We needed to develop a style that worked for us. This was a challenge because we both KNEW our way was best. Fortunately, Christian parenting books were on the rise and we read several and decided what we thought good parenting looked like. The problem was we thought once we decided it would stay the same. As our kids grew and attended elementary school we had to change some approaches and then again for high school. We discovered parenting is an art not a science and it must evolve with the maturity of our kids.
One of the things that surprised me was how many parents had the science down and wanted to show us what worked every time. They were so smart- they gave us “proven techniques” on such issues as:
- Potty training
- Talking back
- Putting your kids to bed
- And on and own.
One of the things I noticed was most of the parents with all the answers had not been at it very long. We have all discovered what happens with kids- in time you will be humbled by your overstatements like, “I would never” or “We have found this always works”. A pastor mentor of mine said this-“Hal, listen to everyone but, listen closely to the parents whose children have grown up and you like how they turned out”. He was brilliant because as we all have discovered- getting young kids to comply can be accomplished in many ways! But, what do they look like later. How do they treat people, develop a work ethic and move out on their own,etc.
So Sandy and I began the journey of parenting with two big principles in are tool box (we got more later):
- We would always display a united front (we wouldn’t let the little guys divide and conquer us)
- Our goal was to raise Godly, 35 year old parents (not merely gain compliance for the moment)
So this next weekend our topic is: When Kid’s Attack! We will look at some Biblical principles for parenting and try to give you a new tool or two for your parenting toolbox.
This past weekend we talked about Great Sex. I promised a video of a couple who started out living together and then discovered God’s plan. You can watch their story here.