UNCOMFORTABLE… That was my gut feeling before this weekend’s message and afterward. The topic was Affair-Proofing and the message is timely. I mentioned the astronomical rate of affairs. So why is it so uncomfortable to talk about? Because I know there are many wounded people who will rehearse their pain again:
- There is the woman, single mom whose husband left her because he found his “soul-mate”. As I talk, I know it is painful because the wound is fresh.
- There is the guy who grew up in a single parent home because of an affair and divorce. He still carries some anger.
- There are parents in the room who watched their children marry someone who violated their trust. And now their child is struggling with life and whether they want to live.
When we showed the video of the couple going through the affair without resolution and then Blaine and Alexis sang “Separate Lives”, I personally felt punched in the gut. I sensed the same feeling in the room. So why discuss a topic that churns up such pain?
As your pastor, I have a responsibility to God to not only encourage you but also warn you about stepping away from God’s best. I am accountable to our Father for sharing the truth. But, I felt caught in the middle with this message. I wanted to come down really hard and hopefully scare some people considering an affair to back away. At the same time I knew that approach could mess up some innocent people. Because, nearly everyone in the room has experienced some of the devastation and pain of an affair; if not in their own marriage maybe that of a close friend, a sibling or a parent. Therefore, I know that the message must be clear and the delivery method must be given a lot of attention.
So what was my prayer for the outcome of the this weekend:
- The repentant person to be encouraged- we can never get beyond the grace of God. 1 John 1:9
- The wounded person to find grace- Ephesians 3:14-19
- The innocent person to put in boundaries 1 Corinthians 10:12-13
- And Jesus Christ to be honored. Philippians 2:10-11
In summary, if you wrestled with this weekend’s message- I did as well. My guess is you have a friend who also needs to wrestle. You can pass it on in several ways:
Finally- we laughed our heads off at the Peyton Manning video. And the word was- the ladies loved the chocolates and the kids got plenty of sugar in their valentine heart box!